My Flame in the Dark.

Everyday, I get up, I make my bed, I get dressed and I brush my teeth. My stomach knotting, knowing that we cannot speak.

Eleven years – eleven years of heartache but also triumph. Fear not, because you are not gone; you have only left to become more you. Is that true? Did the hand you used to write those words tremble?

Somewhere, somehow, there’s a place for us; that place is filled with butterflies and fairies. I will wrap our memories, our hopes and our dreams in the oh so beautiful Christmas wrapping paper you endured each year.

On the road, you chose, to find out why the wind dies, in your journey, you may travel far, it’s a long way to find out who you are. I truly hope the wind and your journey have given you love, peace and happiness.

Standing in my silence, I can hear my heart beating – beating the sounds of what I imagined that night. I was cold and numb. Was this really happening? Why would they lie? I dream of you; please don’t leave, hold onto me and I’ll forever hold onto you.

I still ask someone to wake me up when this is all over, you’ve missed so much. You’ve held my hand through pain, through tears, through laughter. Here on Earth, everything is different; to show you what I am, to show you who I am, why is that too much to want?

Somewhere far beyond today, I will find a way to you. Through those oh so lonely nights, I look up to the stars in the Sky. Sometimes I swear I can even see you, dancing and smiling down at me.

I wonder what it looks like in Heaven, I wish you could tell me. Is it how they say? That all your fears have gone away? I used to get told, that people were only taken when it is their time. At first, I was angry, so, so angry. I blamed you. You made my world completely crumble – but, it wasn’t you, was it? I guess the Angels needed a hero, and I bet it’s so nice up there, since you arrived.

Soon, when I am with you, I will hold onto you tight, whispering your name and clinging onto you with all of my might. We’ll be dancing the Sky, singing in the Angels choir. I’ll remember when you’d tucked me in at night, with those little peanut butter sandwiches accompanied by a glass of fresh milk – we’ll even enjoy that when I have the chance to see your beautiful face.

For now, this is goodbye. But that goodbye, is not forever. There is a love inside of us, that goes without saying. That love will fan the flame, and that flame will warm the heart that is awaiting. Until then, I’ll leave a light on in the dark, and hope it leads you, to my heart.